35 Definitive Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

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Early on, paying attention to signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is important. After all, while dating is meant to be fun and easy, it is also an investment toward a committed relationship for both people involved. It doesn’t matter if you met through Bumble or through friends. We’re sure you wouldn’t want things to end in heartbreak or learn later that you were wasting time with them. Spare yourself the drama by keeping an eye on the following red flags.


Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

1. He avoids talking about getting into a serious relationship.

You’ll notice this each time the topic comes up. Whether you’re the one who brings it up or a common acquaintance, he will brush things off and quickly move on to something else. If this happens a lot, we suggest you speak to them about it or simply move on from your dead-end relationship.


2. He remains vague about exactly what it is he’s looking for.

If a guy never gives you clear answers about what he wants from your relationship and uses that to string you around, it might be time to cut things off. Someone who is really interested in you will make their expectations known and not keep you guessing. This is just a fundamental trait of a healthy relationship.


3. He prefers no relationship labels.

Yes, there are non-traditional relationships that defy labels. However, if you and your man aren’t in this type of situation, consider this a red flag. It could point to them keeping their options open, despite having you. If this is something you’re not interested in, stop wasting your time and move on.


4. He continues to entertain other people or is still using dating apps.

While you need to differentiate friendliness from blatant flirting, you should also know where to draw the line. If he’s entertaining other potential partners on social media or dating apps, it’s time you cut ties with him. Remember, this is one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.


5. He only meets with you on a set schedule.

Young woman on her phone while waiting for someone.
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Remember, you’re not just some random number he can call up whenever he needs company. If he only makes his presence known during certain days and ignores you, drop him. You are better off having no relationship than being in one where you’re treated as an option.


6. He has a history of short-term relationships.

Most people don’t pay attention to their partner’s past relationships, and this is a healthy attitude to have. However, would you feel secure with someone who has a history of short relationships? If they have also exhibited the above-mentioned behaviors, they might be emotionally unavailable and only want the benefits of having a partner.


7. He shows no interest in getting to know your family and friends.

While it might seem flattering that they only want to get to know you, consider this behavior a red flag. It is likely that they don’t see the need to meet your loved ones because they don’t think of what you have as a committed relationship.


8. He avoids making plans with you.

When people have been in a serious relationship, it is only natural to plan ahead. Whether that be something as simple as traveling or making an investment together, it offers both people involved a sense of security. If your partner is avoiding this, know that it is one of the signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.


9. He prefers texting with you instead of meeting up.

This is one of the major red flags you need to pay attention to. While some men might simply be too shy at first, he’s simply wasting your time if they continue to avoid meeting up. As they say, if he wanted to, he would.


10. He is only affectionate when you’re together but doesn’t make any effort to reach out otherwise.

Woman hugging a man from behind.
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Affection is one of the signs he likes you. However, if he only gives affection when you’re together, do pay attention. Some men simply enjoy receiving immediate attention back but don’t want anything serious with you.


11. He keeps you at a distance when it comes to personal matters.

Being emotionally unavailable is quite common, even among people in relationships. If they’re only using you as a security blanket but aren’t capable of reciprocating, then take a step back. It might be that he doesn’t trust you or simply does not think of your relationship as serious enough to open up.


12. He hasn’t shown any effort toward learning more about you.

A man who is interested will make an effort to get to know you better. He will try to understand you more, whether you’ve just started talking or have gone out a few times. If he only talks about himself and hardly ever asks anything about you, you can be sure that he’s not into you.


13. He doesn’t make you feel as if you’re a priority.

One of the biggest signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you’re not among his priorities. If he can easily brush off plans you’ve made together or choose the company of others over you, stop wasting time. You’re better off putting your energy toward a new hobby or someone else.


14. Despite talking for a long time, things haven’t progressed any further.

Are you still in the talking or texting stage despite having known each other for months? Unless you live apart, there is no reason for things to remain stagnant for so long. If he wanted to, he would, which applies to taking your relationship to the next level.


15. He has told you that he isn’t looking for anything serious.

Young couple talking.
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This is a pretty clear message, and you have to accept reality as it is. The man you’re interested in only wants to have fun and while that is valid, ask yourself if that works for you. If you’d rather be in a committed relationship, it’s best to cut things off early on.


16. You don’t feel comfortable around him, and he makes no effort to change that.

If you have spoken to him about being uncomfortable and he has made no move to change anything, that’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Any man interested in you will always go out of their way to make you feel comfortable. It might not be a glaring red flag, but pay attention to how he treats you afterward as well.


17. He isn’t consistent when it comes to messaging with you.

In any relationship, consistency is key. Think about it like you would a flower, only with constant care will it bloom. If he is prone to ghosting you, stop wasting your time. He doesn’t want a relationship right now or he is simply not into you.


18. He doesn’t take you on dates.

Some might argue that dates aren’t a necessity for a serious relationship. But if he never even asks you to spend time together, it can point to where you stand with him. Perhaps he only likes your company but doesn’t think of you romantically.


19. He hasn’t introduced you to his family and friends.

There are only two reasons why this happens: he only sees you as a casual friend or he’s not serious about you and is keeping you at a distance from his personal life. Either way, it’s one of the clear signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.


20. His sweet words and promises never really come true.

Man and woman having a serious conversation.
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Don’t let a man’s sweet talk make you believe that he’s truly committed to you. Always pay attention to what he’s showing you instead. If he has never made good on anything he’s promised you, that’s a red flag you must be wary of.


21. He doesn’t add you to his social media accounts.

If they are active on their social media accounts but haven’t followed you or even liked your posts then do be wary. You can take this as a sign of disinterest and that pursuing a relationship with them would only end in heartbreak. After all, he would try and keep up with your life if he sees you as a potential romantic partner.


22. He doesn’t listen when you tell him about your worries.

This next one is of the red flags you must pay attention to in any relationship. If he doesn’t care about your worries, do you really think he’ll care about you as a person? This is one of the most obvious signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.


23. He only seems interested in physical intimacy.

Unless the both of you have agreed on a friends-with-benefits arrangement, a man who is only interested in physical intimacy is not worth waiting for. It’s time to cut him off if he doesn’t want a relationship. In doing so, you can also avoid wasting your time.


24. He encourages you to meet someone else.

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. A guy who urges you to look for love elsewhere is simply not interested in you. The best thing to do here is to not take it personally, cut your losses, and find someone else.


25. On dates, he would rather go out in a group.

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A man who avoids going on one-on-one dates only sees you as a friend. This is because going out in a group helps them maintain distance from you, while also avoiding awkward moments. While he may not say it upfront, this is one of the signs he’s not into you.


26. He immediately corrects anyone who thinks the two of you are dating.

This is quite similar to the previous sign, though much more transparent. Perhaps you’re close enough for people to suspect something, but if he corrects them and seems uncomfortable then take that as a sign. He likely doesn’t want a serious relationship but wants to maintain a friendship with you instead.


27. He never flirts back with you.

Do you find that your playful flirtations are often brushed off? If this is the case then they simply might not be interested in you romantically. In fact, this might be their subtle way of saying no to a possible relationship with you.


28. He only contacts you when he’s available.

This brings us back to the topic of priorities and how you must pay attention to their actions more than their words. You might feel special when they contact you first, but how often do they really do it? If you find that they only do it when it’s convenient, take that as one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.


29. You always initiate things with him.

No relationship should feel forced or worse, one-sided. If you’re the only one who is making an effort then your man is either emotionally unavailable or not interested in getting serious with you. You might ask, “Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? It’s simple, he’s benefitting from your presence.


30. He shoots down your attempts to have deep conversations.

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Opening up to someone takes trust and courage. If your attempts to connect with them on a deeper level aren’t welcomed, then they might not be ready to be vulnerable with you. Of course, this isn’t a definite sign of disinterest, but it does point to them being emotionally unavailable as well.


31. He shows disinterest in your hobbies and personal interests.

Have you ever tried including them in the things that you enjoy? A man who is interested in you will jump at the chance, while someone who has no such feelings would be more hesitant. This might be less obvious than the others, and could be confusing at first, but it is one sign to pay attention to.


32. He talks about keeping his “options open”.

If you want obvious signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, this is one of them. Not only does it tell you that you’re just one of his options, but they are also admitting to not wanting a committed relationship. Needless to say, you should choose what is best for yourself: moving on.


33. He doesn’t include you in his long-term plans.

What if he isn’t averse to planning for the future, but he never actually includes you in it? This only means he doesn’t see the both of you getting into a really serious relationship. While the future is uncertain, a healthy relationship should make you feel secure and included.


34. His friends only see you as a friend.

You can glean a few clues on what a man thinks about you from his friends. If they treat you as someone special to him, then there might be feelings there that he has yet to confess. On the other hand, if they treat you as no more than a friend or acquaintance then he likely only talks about you in this way.


35. He talks to you about other girls that he’s interested in.

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Some men do this to make you feel jealous, while others do it to get a clear message across. Either way, this is one of the signs you should stay away from someone. This blatant disregard for your feelings is a major red flag and is a warning against pursuing a relationship with them


Why Does He Keep Me Around if He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?

Aside from spotting signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, there are other red flags to keep in mind. It might be that this guy is stringing you along with no intention of getting into a committed relationship. Here are a few reasons why that happens.

  • He benefits from you, whether that be in the form of sex or companionship. If a man is lonely, he might cling to you even when he doesn’t want an actual relationship.
  • He keeps you out of habit. This man might be afraid of feeling empty once he does let go of you. This is a manifestation of toxic masculinity so it is best to steer clear of it.
  • He is insecure. This is a guy who finds it difficult to make decisions and keeps questioning himself. In the process, he is also pulling you into his mess. If he keeps wavering when you ask about the status of your relationship, you are wasting your time.


Should You Cut Him Off if He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?

The simple answer is yes. He is emotionally detached when it comes to you and if you attempt to change that, it might only end in heartbreak. Sure, you might find the challenge exciting, but you’re investing energy in something that is nothing more than a waste of time.

If this man is the least bit interested in you, he would have shown small signs he likes you. You might think, “Maybe he doesn’t want a relationship right now but he likes me.” This might be the case, but will you gamble with your feelings and stick around to find out?

Do yourself a big favor and spare yourself the potential heartache.


If You See Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You, Choose What’s Best for You

It doesn’t matter if it’s your first time or your fifth go at dating. Building a healthy relationship can be very difficult, especially if the other person is vague about where you stand. Remember that you deserve to know if they want the same thing as you or not. You wouldn’t want to invest your time, energy, and feelings in a person who isn’t capable of reciprocating them. Make sure you pay attention to the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

Next Read: Self-love is the best love. Here are some self care ideas which will help you focus on yourself instead.